Chapter 1

Up until I turned 15 years old, I felt like a weed. My life was damp, chilly, insignificant, and suffocating.

That was until I met Martin Grant and Molly Summers.

Molly was the one who made me the first ravioli dish I ever tasted in my life. She bought me the first pretty dress I ever owned.

She was the one who spent countless hours decorating the house for my first proper birthday party, who also tenderly applied ointment to the cold sores on my hands.

She always made sure everybody knew that I was her best friend.

As for Martin, he saved me from the hands of a bunch of mocking, cruel hooligans. When I ran a fever of 104°F, he kicked the door open and rushed me to the hospital.

Before my drunken stepfather could lay another finger on me, Martin stepped in and cracked his skull open with one punch.

When he confessed to me, his trembling hands and loud heartbeat resonated within me, bringing warm tears to my eyes.

"I swear to protect you for the rest of our lives."

I always thought about how lucky I was that they had appeared and lit up my hopeless, dim life.

That was until my 23rd birthday, when I heard Martin yelling at Molly, "I can't control my feelings! So what if I've fallen for you? You fell for me, too, didn't you?"

The gorgeous girl standing in front of him looked into his bitter, red-rimmed gaze and finally threw herself into his waiting arms.

"But…what about Willow?"

I hid in the corner as I smiled to myself bitterly.

What else could I do?

I loved them both to death. I couldn't bear to let them suffer.

I called my supervisor and asked calmly, "Can I sign up for that 20-year exploration project in Stravia?"

…

Rain thundered down, drenching me from head to toe.

However, I remained motionless.

All I could do was stare expressionlessly at the two people behind the glass wall in front of me. They had pulled me out of a pit of despair when I was only 15 years old.

I watched as they clung tightly to each other.

He was handsome, and she was beautiful. The love between them was palpable, and they looked like a match made in heaven.

It would have been almost cruel for anyone to break them apart.

Even though I didn't have an umbrella with me, I still stood there for 15 whole minutes.

I only strolled lightly into our reserved booth when the clock struck 7:00 pm, the time we had agreed to meet.

"What a day! The car broke down halfway, and I couldn't find another cab, so I had to run all the way here in the rain. I'm freezing!"

Molly wrapped her expensive Chanel jacket around my wet hair without an ounce of hesitation. "You silly girl!" she chided. "You could have called us to pick you up! What if you got sick?"

Martin, a kind and thoughtful man who used to fret over even the smallest cut on my finger, hesitated before finally approaching me.

He didn't pull me into his embrace like he did after I was kicked out of the house by my stepfather at 17 years old.

Instead, he stood almost three feet away from me and said apologetically, "I'm sorry, Willow. It's your birthday, but I didn't pick you up from school. I should have thought about that, so that you wouldn't have gotten drenched."

I was so cold that I was shivering, but I simply chuckled. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it!"

Perhaps my simple-minded reaction made him feel guilty, because he finally approached me and held my cold hands tenderly, blowing on them to warm them up.

Molly, who was still helping me dry my hair, suddenly stopped.

Her gaze darkened for a moment.

Martin noticed as well and hurriedly let go of my hands, stepping back once again. He then waved over the waiter standing by the door. "Bring me a hot latte."

He smiled at me sheepishly. "You should drink something hot to warm you up."

I acted as if I knew nothing and sat down breezily. However, I knew his gaze wasn't directed at me.

The hot latte arrived soon enough.

Molly made sure it was cool enough to drink before passing it to me.

I usually found a latte to be quite sweet, but it tasted bitter and astringent on my tongue. Still, I drank it all up.

I placed the empty cup down and rubbed my stomach. "I'm starving. Should we order our food?"

My past birthdays were always a boisterous affair.

They would always fight over who was the first to smear cream on my cheek, and they would laugh and say it was to bless me with good luck.

Either that, or they would fight over who got to take a picture with me first.

I usually ended up getting confused over who I should look at first, but the end result was always a picture of the three of us.

Martin would hold me tightly in his embrace, and he would gaze at me as if I were the rarest treasure in the world.

Molly, on the other hand, would lean against my shoulder with a wide smile.

This year felt completely different.

The cake was as gorgeous as ever, and they were still sitting on either side of me.

However, the atmosphere was stiff and suffocating. It was so tense that you could cut it with a knife.

I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Molly quietly ate her food while Martin occasionally zoned out, looking distracted.

I took a deep breath and did my best to liven up the atmosphere. "Hey, what are you two planning? You haven't even wished me happy birthday yet! Are you planning to smash the whole cake in my face when I'm not paying attention?"

Molly finally smiled stiffly. "Of course not! We wanted to let you eat first since we figured you must be hungry after spending the whole afternoon in the library. Let's get the ball rolling!"

Chapter 2

We brought out the cake and lit the candles. Our glasses clinked as we toasted.

My best friend, Molly, who happened to be my only friend, and the man I loved with all my heart, Martin, wished me a happy birthday together.

"Happy birthday, Willow!"

"Make a wish!"

"Honey, I'll spend every single one of your birthdays with you! I swear I will!"

"How delusional. I'm the only one that Willow wants to spend her birthdays with, okay? It really doesn't matter whether you're there or not!"

"Don't be so unreasonable, Ms. Summers. I'm her boyfriend. I should be the one celebrating her birthdays with her!"

"Well, Willow and I are best friends! No one can tear us apart. Of course Willow would want to spend her birthdays with me."

I opened my eyes and blew out the candles. Thin plumes of smoke rose up in front of me, obscuring Martin and Molly's excited faces.

That was just an old memory, not from my 18th birthday.

This time, neither of them laughed nor joked around. They simply said "Happy Birthday" to me after we clinked glasses.

Molly seemed a bit distracted. When she placed her glass back on the table, she knocked her wrist against the corner of the table.

She hissed and frowned in pain.

Martin hurriedly stood up. "Are you okay?"

The moment the words left his mouth, he seemed to realize how strange his reaction was.

They both turned to look at me anxiously.

I, however, simply stared at the gorgeous cake in front of me.

Molly made my birthday cake for me every single year without fail. She made it again this year, too.

There was a pair of girls molded from chocolate and fondant perched on the top of the cake. They were holding hands.

When I was 15 years old, I got my period, but I didn't have the money to buy sanitary pads. The other boys in class pointed at my stained pants and laughed at me loudly.

Molly, who had just transferred over to my school, took her jacket off without a word and tied it around my waist. Then, she grabbed hold of my hand and glared back at all the other boys who were mocking me.

From that day onward, she entered my depressing, dark life like a warm spring breeze.

I thought about the wish I had repeated silently to myself and laughed as tears welled up in my eyes. "Another year older. Time really flies, doesn't it? Come on, let's cut the cake!"

My wish was for everyone I loved to get everything they wanted and for them to be happy forever.

As for me, on the other hand?

I didn't mind. I really didn't mind.

A week after my birthday, I received a confirmation letter stating that my registration for the exploration project in Stravia had been approved.

Even though I majored in environmental science, I was hoping that the exploration project would teach me even more secrets of nature.

I never thought I would join an overseas exploration project that spanned over 20 years.

This time, however, I signed my name with zero hesitation.

Before I sent my signed copy back, I suddenly started doubting myself. I hurriedly closed the tab with my supervisor's e-mail on it and began to randomly look through all the apps on my desktop.

I accidentally clicked on a heart-shaped icon with silver sparkles decorating it.

Momentarily frozen, I finally remembered what it was.

It was an app that Martin had made a few years ago. He had learned programming since he was a child. The app was called "Sweet Nothings".

It was something like a Notes app, but for goodnight messages between lovers.

Only I had access to it.

It was full of the random things he'd write at night before he fell asleep. He said we could keep it for memory's sake after we grew older.

The contents in the app almost felt like a long poem that held his love for me.

"My wish came true! Willow and I both got great results on our SATs. We made it into the same university!"

"I'm too excited to sleep. It's the first time you said you love me. I can't get enough of how red you get when you're shy. I swear I'm going to love you for the rest of my life."

"Even though I miss you, I know you must be asleep by now, so I won't call you. Goodnight, my love. I hope I can accompany you in your dreams, too."

"Today, I walked past the restaurant we used to go to all the time. It's closed for good now! It's okay, though. I already learned how to make your favorite spaghetti carbonara. I bet it's going to taste exactly the same."

"Willow, your training is only going to be for five days, but every single day without you by my side feels like a year to me."

Chapter 3

All our sweet memories began to play in my mind like a movie.

The corners of my lips curved in a smile. However, when I scrolled to the next page, my smile froze abruptly.

"Back then, I only saw Molly as Willow's best friend. I even disliked her for taking Willow's attention away from me. However, when I saw her shining on stage, I suddenly felt my heart skip a beat. What's happening to me?"

The post was from five months ago. Hadn't the app gone down due to a bug two years ago?

I hurriedly scrolled further down.

"The three of us ate together today. Molly was sitting right in front of me, and I couldn't help but sneak glances at her. How have I never noticed that she has dimples when she smiles?"

"Molly's grandmother passed away. Willow and I went to visit her. When I saw her crying, I…felt like hugging her."

"I can't stop myself from thinking about her. I'm such a jerk."

"I accidentally touched Molly's hand today, and she started blushing. She couldn't look at me at all. Have her feelings toward me changed, too? It's so heartless, but I'm so happy."

"I'm so slow! Usually, she would start mocking me or teasing me. She always warned me that she'd tear me to shreds if I hurt Willow, but she hasn't said that for a year now. Sometimes, she'd even avoid me. I finally know why."

"Willow asked me to send Molly home, but she kept turning me down and said she could go back herself. I knew she was trying to avoid being alone with me, but I still ran after her. She's lost so much weight that she looks smaller. She kept looking down and staying silent, but her breathing was uneven and sounded nervous. Mine… mine was too."

"Willow's finally out of her shell. She kissed me in front of so many people, but I'm not happy about it at all, because Molly was clearly hurt. I can't keep this up. No matter what, I have to tell her how I feel!"

I suddenly felt my heart clench painfully.

That's why he was so focused while watching the dance competition.

He was distracted during our dinner together, and during Molly's grandmother's funeral, he looked incredibly worried about her. During our dates, he seemed like he had something to say, but he would always stop himself.

I finally had my answer.

Martin fell for Molly during the dance competition.

As for Molly, she clearly started feeling things for Martin even earlier. I was the slow one.

I continued scrolling. The latest post was from only an hour ago.

"Since I've already made my feelings known to Molly, and now that I know she likes me too, I should end things. Willow's birthday is already over, anyway. Even though I know the truth is going to hurt Willow's feelings, I can't do anything about it."

My phone started buzzing right as I finished reading.

I curled my shaking fingers into a fist. My skin was drenched in cold sweat.

I finally understood why I left seven days ago, before I even finished eating. I told them I was busy with schoolwork and hurried away.

I kept avoiding them recently, too.

It was because I was afraid. I was worried that Martin would come clean.

I witnessed the tender, passionate look on his face when he confessed to me at the age of 17.

How was I supposed to listen to him tell me he fell in love with Molly and break up with me?

He still called me.

I immediately sent my signed copy of the confirmation letter to my supervisor, almost as if I were trying to escape.

"Don't tell me, please," I thought to myself. "Don't tell me."

I would never want to be an obstacle in their path to be together. If they let me leave quietly, they could happily end up together. Wouldn't that be nice?

My phone wouldn't stop ringing.

I turned around and threw myself onto the bed. I buried myself in blankets.

My ringtone eventually faded away, but the pain in my heart became more and more prevalent.

I had been holding my tears in for ages, but they started pouring down anyway.

Chapter 4

For the next five days, I didn't pick up a single one of Martin's calls.

My registration was complete. My supervisor helped me with a significant portion of the preparation work.

I would be able to fulfill my wishes and leave quietly the day after tomorrow.

However, I had obviously underestimated how determined Martin was to come clean. Perhaps he was in a rush to end things as soon as possible and chase after his true love since he had realized it so late.

That afternoon, the moment I came out of my dormitory, I saw him. I couldn't help but smile weakly.

His tall, handsome figure waiting in the doorway looked just like it always had.

He used to come here to pick me up and take me on dates, or to bring me some food that his mom had prepared for me.

Sometimes, he would even stop by just to tell me that he missed me.

Today, though…

I knew I couldn't escape the truth any longer, so I psyched myself up to greet him. "Hi. What are you doing here?"

He looked up. When he saw me, his deep gaze softened with concern. "Why aren't you wearing a jacket? It's almost fall, and the weather's getting colder. You might catch a cold."

As he spoke, he lifted a smooth, slender hand and helped me tighten my loose collar.

He lifted his other hand instinctively, about to pull me into his embrace.

In that moment, I thought I saw the man who was once full of love for me. The same man who gave his family the cold shoulder for a whole year so that they would give in and let us date.

The very next second, I realized what was going on.

We were together for six years. His thoughtful actions and gentle care were simply habits he had developed over that time.

Just as I was about to step back, he came to his senses and put his hands down.

My heart clenched painfully.

He paused for a moment before speaking in a hoarse voice, "Why haven't you been picking up my calls?"

I smiled casually. "My phone broke. I was too busy to bring it to the store these past few days because I was working on my thesis."

His stare lingered on my face for a moment before he finally looked away. "Ah. I see."

A long, heavy silence fell between us as a cold breeze slipped in through the door, chilling me to the bone.

However, since he was silent, I wasn't going to say anything either.

By the time he spoke up, my face was already red. My sensitive skin always flared up in the cold.

He finally spoke in a low voice, "Willow, I have something to say to you."

Before he could continue, his phone suddenly rang.

My eyebrow twitched.

He had changed his ringtone. It used to be a recording of me singing "Lucky Girl", but now, it was "The Loneliest Whale".

It was Molly's favorite song.

I couldn't help but smile miserably.

He hadn't changed.

When he loved someone, he paid attention to every single detail.

"Hello?"

"Martin, where are you? I can't get through to Willow. Molly got into an accident, but she doesn't want to tell her family. You know how stubborn she can get. She didn't want Willow to worry either, so she's been alone in the hospital."

It was Alex Yarrow, Molly's childhood friend.

Martin's eyes widened. "Is it serious? Which hospital is she at?"

I could hear Alex say, "It's not that serious, but she broke her leg, so she can't get out of bed."

Instead of relaxing his brow, his frown deepened even more. "Got it."

After hanging up, he hesitated before deciding to lie to me anyway. "Willow, my… my relative is in the hospital. It's pretty serious, so I need to visit. You…"

I acted as if I hadn't heard the conversation he'd just had and nodded hurriedly.

Only then did Martin finally notice the red marks on my cheeks. After a moment, he finally passed me the tube of ointment he carried around just for me. "Be good and go put this on, okay?"

He then hurried away.

I stared at the tube of ointment that was still warm from his body heat.

My chest felt prickly and stung as if ants were eating away at it.

He would never have to carry such things around with him again.

Never again.

Chapter 5

I didn't know why I followed him to the hospital. Perhaps I was actually worried about Molly, or perhaps I just wanted to see Martin worry about another woman.

The smell of sanitizer pierced my nostrils the moment I entered the corridor.

I didn't have to try too hard to find Molly's ward, and coincidentally, her door was left ajar. I could just about peek into the inside of her room.

She was lying on a hospital bed. Her face was pale, and her right leg was encased in a plaster cast.

She looked ill and exhausted, but she was still as beautiful as ever.

Martin stood in front of her. His voice was full of panic. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why should I tell you? You're my best friend's boyfriend. You—"

"Molly!" Martin burst out. "What are you saying all that for? I thought we'd already come clean about our feelings for each other. You know—"

"Enough."

Molly closed her eyes. "I was acting rashly that day. Please don't take it seriously. I've already thought things through. Willow is my best friend, and she's very important to me. I could never hurt her, and I would never let you hurt her either. That's why everything has to go back to normal.

"Please set your head straight and go back to Willow. We'll pretend nothing ever happened."

The sob she let out at the end of her sentence made it clear that she didn't mean what she was saying.

Martin began to cry as well. "Molly, no. Please don't say that."

Molly turned away and avoided his gaze. "I've made up my mind. Go home."

Martin suddenly shuddered abruptly.

Then, he let out a long sigh as if he had finally made up his mind about something. "Okay. You've just been in an accident, and you're clearly unwell. I won't bring it up anymore, but you have to let me take care of you. I can only relax after I know you're better."

As he spoke, he scooped up a spoonful of oatmeal and placed it by Molly's lips.

Molly ignored him, but he kept trying to feed her regardless.

After doing this a few times, Molly suddenly lost it and slapped the spoon and bowl away. "Martin, what the hell is your problem? I told you to leave me alone! Can you just go away?"

His hand stopped in midair. His voice was gentle, but it was determined. "You can ignore me, but I just want to let you know that I've fired the caretaker you hired. If you try to hire another one, I'll just wait here and chase them all away.

"You still have an IV drip in, and it's going to be inconvenient for you. Without a caretaker to feed you, you'll starve if you don't let me help."

As he spoke, he gently pressed the back of his hand to her forehead and tucked her in properly.

Then, he sat down and began to peel an apple.

I stood in the shadows outside the doorway, as still as a marble statue.

So Martin had that side to him. A gentle, but extremely stubborn side.

He was probably really in love with her.

Molly's eyes teared up as her tone softened. "Martin, you don't have to do this."

"I know."

Martin cut up the peeled apple into small cubes and put them on a plate. He looked at her deeply. "I know I don't have to, but I want to."

The moment their eyes met, the ward practically lit up like something out of a romance movie. The air was filled with warm concern.

I was finally sure of it.

The boy who had once sung love songs to me until his voice went hoarse was gone.

The boy who knew how insecure I was and once told me, "I'll love you forever, and you can keep asking me until you're convinced," was gone for good.

I couldn't bear to watch any longer.

I turned around and left silently.

Love was visceral, and it couldn't be controlled.

I knew that.

…

Two days later, I rushed to the airport on my own. I didn't waste any more tears on them.

The night breeze blew in through the half-open cab windows, and my memories began to play in my head like a movie.

When I was one year old, my mother passed away.

My stepfather, who had gotten most of my mother's inheritance, had to ask my aunt to help take care of me to protect his reputation among the other neighbors.

When I was three years old, my aunt suddenly left, and I never heard from her again.

Because of that, I starved most days, and I didn't have a single coat to wear in the winter.

When I was five years old, my stepfather hit me for the first time because I didn't bring back his alcohol in time. I cried until I lost my voice.

I even knelt in the snow overnight.

When I was eight years old, with the help of the community council and the Women's Federation, I was finally able to go to school.

However, the other kids constantly bullied me, and I lived like a miserable beggar amongst them.

When I was ten years old, a stray dog attacked me and bit me all over until I barely had an inch of unbroken skin left.

No one helped me, so I was forced to use up all my remaining energy to drag myself home.

When I met Molly, I was 15 years old. That was when my life finally started to have some color.

She told me that the first time she saw me, she felt like she had to take care of me for no reason.

When I was 16 years old, Martin saved me from a bunch of street rats. He dragged me away from them, and I remember thinking he looked like a white knight who had come to save his princess from evil.

I received my first-ever bouquet of roses and a heartfelt confession when I was 17 years old.

His expression was shy and hesitant, but his gaze was full of love and determination.

Now, at 23 years old, I was about to fly to cold, icy Stravia.

The weeping willow symbolized grief, mourning, and loss. That was the origin of my name, and that seemed to be my destiny.

However, Martin and Molly had taught me what happiness felt like.

All I wanted was for them to stay happy and fulfilled. Thus, I left of my own accord.

To be honest, I was more than happy to be able to do something for them.

Goodbye, Molly.

Goodbye, Martin.

I hope I never see you two again.