Chapter One

“I want to get a divorce,” Leslie said tersely, her voice as cold as possible.

Henry dropped the documents he was reading through and gave her a quizzical stare. “I didn’t know you were married…”

Leslie smiled bitterly. Of course, not a lot of people knew she was married. Luke Stuart, her husband, had insisted that their marriage be kept under wraps and he’d made it very clear that he didn’t want ‘outsiders’ knowing about their union.

Though unsurprising, it still hurt Leslie to know that Luke hadn't told even his best friend, Henry. She wondered how he kept it buried in his stomach for years without every letting it slip. On her part, she’d told a few people in confidence.

It didn’t matter because it would help her with the request she’d come to ask of Henry. A divorce. That was the last thing Leslie would’ve thought of doing in her life. If she’d been told that after marrying her dream man, she’d be the one asking for a divorce, she’d have smacked that person forever uttering such rubbish.

But here she was, seeking help.

She exhaled. “I’m not married.” The words left her lips fluently. It was a practiced lie. “I’m inquiring for a friend who’s going through a toxic and loveless marriage and wants to end it. She’s… afraid that if her husband finds out she’s met with a divorce lawyer, he’d hurt her.”

Henry looked at her hard and long before exhaling. “I’ll draft up a document but your friend needs to see a lawyer sooner or later. She should file a complaint against that brute of a man.”

Leslie left Henry’s office a slightly happier woman than she’d gone there. Happy was a relative term because she’d never been so miserable in her life.

It was two months ago that her husband, Dr. Luke Stuart, came home reeking of alcohol with a goofy smile on his face. Ever since they got married two years ago, she’d never seen him so happy and it had piqued her interest.

Later that night, she’d borrowed his laptop to finish up some work for her museum because hers wasn’t working, but the shock of her life had greeted her.

Text messages dating back years between Luke and this particular woman called Katie. She hadn't been snooping around but a pop-up text from the lady had gotten her interest and she’d checked.

It turned out that her husband had gone out with her for a few drinks and that had gotten him smiling like a fool.

This was Luke—one of the strictest doctors who would never drink on the job so it was surprising to see him break habit.

Over the months, Luke’s behaviour had become more and more erratic. He came home late, hid in the toilet to take calls from Katie, ordered flowers for her.

The flower part had been a little bit of an accident because she’d stumbled upon a delivery message on his phone that said the flowers had been delivered along with chocolate.

Leslie, in her two years of being married to Luke—and over a year of being madly in love with him—had never gotten anything from him. Luke always said that gifts were a waste of time and though Leslie tried getting him some, she’d also gotten her heart broken when she found some of the items she bought him given away to random people online.

At first, she didn’t make much of it. Luke was just Luke—detached, having difficulty to express his feelings, nonchalant. But the veil over her eyes tore apart the day she found his journal.

For two years, she’d avoided snooping around his personal space but there was just something that got a woman suspicious when her man was behaving out of character.

Going through the journal wrecked Leslie, leaving her trembling for hours.

It turned out that the reason Luke had been cold to her and every other woman wasn’t because he wasn’t interested in women, but because he had been in love with one particular woman all his life and couldn’t get over her.

Katie was Luke’s High School crush. He’d been in love with her for years and had confessed before prom night but she’d rejected him and gone after Bobby, the baseball captain.

The journal was filled with entries of Luke talking about his feelings, how he planned to fulfil them and how many children he wanted to have. He talked about his hurt too.

What shocked Leslie was the fact that Luke wanted to have children with Katie when he’d told her that he never wanted one.

All his feelings for the woman had been rekindled when she showed up to work as an intern at his hospital two months ago.

Leslie soon realized that she was fast becoming a third wheel. To save herself from the hurt, she decided to break things off and leave before she was thrown out like garbage. She was done enduring.

After asking Henry to keep the request between them, she went home only to find Luke dressed in a hoodie, ready to go out.

“Where did you go to?” he asked, frowning when she stepped into the house that evening.

“I went to see a friend. I’m feeling a little sick.”

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked, concerned.

She waved him away dismissively and moved to the couch. “I’ll be fine. You seem to be heading out so I can’t ask you to stay back and take care of me.”

Inwardly, Leslie was hoping that he’d catch on to what she was saying and stay with her. she knew well enough that he had a date with Katie and she didn’t even have the strength to think anymore.

“Right,” he said, clearing his throat. “I’ll get you some hot soup on my way back. Stay cozy.”

He shuffled out of the house, leaving Leslie with a sunken heart.

Of course, he’d go after his classy, smart intern who was soon to become a doctor than stay behind with her, an art enthusiast working with a museum.

“I’ve loved the wrong man all these years…” she whispered to herself as he pulled the car out of the shed.

Well, soon, she’d get the divorce documents and walk away so Luke could be with the love of his life. He’d hurt her enough already.

Chapter Two

Leslie became increasingly uneasy as the minutes ticked down to hours. Luke was still not home, and it was getting late. Her anxiety was weird, given that she knew her stand now.

Contrary to the way she wanted to harden her heart, Leslie still felt a lump rise in her throat whenever she thought of what Luke could possibly be doing with his lover with whom he’d been infatuated for years.

10 p.m. and he was still out on a date with her. He hadn't particularly told her where he was going—such had become his lifestyle ever since the intern appeared. Luke became happier in some sense but it wasn’t because of her. the only thing she made him feel was probably disgust.

The change had been subtle at first, though noticeable. Luke would wiggle away whenever she tried to touch him, or he’d pull back a bit before hesitantly kissing her goodnight or kissing her at all.

Thinking about it made Leslie feel more like a toy that had been bought for a toddler with a tantrum issue. She was now close to being cast into the trash can.

‘I’ll soon leave anyway,’ she said to herself. ‘There’s no need to worry about what he does with the love of his life.’

It hurt badly so Leslie turned her attention to something else. She was going to pack away most of her things and get rid of anything that had any sentimental value or emotional connection.

Going through their boxes, she picked out certain items she was going to throw out. To be honest, she was partly doing this in hopes that Luke would notice that they were missing and ask. Maybe he’d find out how unhappy she was and—

Would he really love her? Leslie doubted it after those text messages and the evidence she’d seen. It was just as they said, ‘First love never dies.’

As Leslie sorted things, she stopped on a set of lingerie that Luke had bought for her during the first three months of their marriage. Her eyes watered and memories came hitting her like waves.

The lingerie set was one of the very few gifts that Luke gave her and she was going to throw them out.

A month ago, when all these things started unravelling, Leslie had seen photos of Katie in the same lingerie—same design and colour.

When Luke bought them for her months ago, she loved them because he insisted that she wear them before they made love. At first, she’d thought that Luke was just a man with a fetish for dressing up, and that was the only way he was turned on.

She was a dead-ass fool to think that. Those lingerie on her never turned her ‘husband’ on in the least. The only thing that they did was make her look a little appealing and close to Katie as possible. He probably wanted to see Katie in her whenever they were intimate.

When Leslie realized that, her heart was torn open. She realized how foolish she’d been, always proudly and eagerly putting the lingerie on, trying to seduce him. She’d been feeding his fantasies.

Everything Luke bought for her probably had a link to Katie.

She tossed the lingerie into a box and then took the portrait photo of them that she’d made and put it away too.

When she was done, she took the box out to the basement and kept it there. Next, she’d pack her things. She didn’t know how long it would take Henry to finish up with the documents so she had to be a bit patient. Maybe while being patient, she could think of ways to get Luke to sign the papers without knowing what they were.

Luke came home a few minutes before midnight and found Leslie sitting in front of her computer. She quickly wiped the tears that had rolled down her cheek and pretended to be looking through some items in an online shop.

In reality, she’d only been feeding her new obsession which was stalking Katie. It was only hurting her, but Leslie couldn’t help it. She would find herself going to her social media pages to scroll around.

Her status update that evening had dragged out tears from her eyes. ‘I’m with the man who loves me like there’s no tomorrow.’

“You’re still awake?” Luke asked, stopping in his tracks, trying to come up with a suitable excuse as to why he was coming home that late.

“I had some work to finish up for the museum.”

He grunted. “You work so hard for them.”

“And so do you.”

“Pardon?”

Leslie sighed. “Nothing. Where did you go to?”

“I…uh, was with Henry for a night out on solitaire.” He inched closer and handed her a pack of takeout. “I brought you soup. You said you were sick.”

Leslie almost laughed at his gesture of concern. Sick? Had her life depended on that soup, then she’d be dead already. If she’d truly been sick, then he didn’t care about her to stay out for more than six hours and come home with cold soup to comfort her.

“I’ll warm it for you,” he said.

“No. I will.” She took the takeout and shut down her computer, then went to the kitchen and tossed it in the trash can. It was so liberating.

After a few minutes of waiting out in the kitchen, she went to bed where she found Luke’s phone unattended. He was showering. Just as she was contemplating going through his phone, a message popped up, highlighting other notifications too.

Katie: Thanks for tonight, sweetie. I’ll see you tomorrow at lunch and the party, right?

Beneath that text was a notification for a party invitation. The hospital was hosting a birthday party for one of its partners, and the doctors were allowed to bring their girlfriends or spouses.

Shortly after, the phone rang. It was Katie calling. Leslie bit her lip and hovered her hand over the answer button. Wasn’t it time to confront this woman?

Chapter Three

Leslie almost answered the call but Luke bolted out of the bathroom with his bathrobe loosely thrown around his body, and snatched the phone from her.

Leslie was stunned both by being caught with his phone and by how quick he was to jump out of the bathroom just because he heard his phone ringing.

Luke avoided her eyes and sheepishly turned away to answer the call. “Hello? Yeah, I was showering.”

He glanced at Leslie some more, and she looked away, trying to give him room to chat with Katie to his pleasure. He nodded and then said, “I’ll call you back later, okay?”

After he hung up the call, he pursed his lips and then said, “It’s…uh, a patient. I have to go in early tomorrow.”

Leslie shrugged. “It’s your job. You save lives.”

He nodded. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine. You shouldn’t worry.”

He nodded slowly and then turned to go back into the bathroom, but Leslie called him back. “I saw a notification for the partner’s birthday party. Will you take me?”

Luke’s face immediately became white as though he’d seen a ghost. For a few seconds, he struggled to form words, but that was all the answers that Leslie needed. He never wanted to go out in public with her.

Their marriage was like a criminal affair—so to speak. No one knew, not even her parents, and most of the time, her elder brother would call to ask what she had been doing in California for the past few years and wouldn’t visit her home in NYC.

“The party is…er, you know? I don’t feel like going anyway. I have some important work to handle.”

“Oh, okay. That’s fine. I guess there’ll be other opportunities to go somewhere with you. I just thought that maybe…we could go public with our marriage?”

Luke sucked a lungful of air. “I’ve told you how I feel about that, Leslie. I don’t want outsiders to know about us. Are you not happy this way?”

‘I’m not happy!’ she screamed in her head. ‘I’ve cried myself to sleep every night for the past two months!’

Luke treated her like she was a substitute—and she was. As much as she wanted to run away, she was hurt that she’d spent the past two years loving him so much that she’d lost herself in it. Looking into his eyes these days, she saw nothing but emptiness.

There was no love in him for her—not even a single atom of affection. Prior to her discovery in the journal, she’d thought that Luke was just like that. He was a doctor who was professional and good at his job, and she’d once heard that to be that good, one had to detach oneself.

Leslie quietly crawled under the covers and shut her eyes, pretending to sleep till it was morning. At daybreak, she fell asleep but was awoken by a noise.

She found Luke rummaging through the drawer. “Did you find my watch?” he asked when she raised her head.

“Which watch?”

“The one I always wear; which other one is there?”

“I don’t know. You always wear it.” Leslie said. She remembered that he’d worn the watch the previous night, but she wasn’t sure if he’d come back with it.

“Well, I need it.”

“What about the one I got you?” she held her breath when she asked that. She knew very well that Luke had sold all those items off online and never kept the gifts she got him.

In response, he buttoned his shirt. “I don’t think I need a watch again. It’s just an accessory.”

“Right.” She sucked down that pain too. Another pain she sucked down was the fact that Luke didn’t seem to notice that most of their things—especially items he’d gotten for her—were missing from the room.

Did he really care at all?

That morning, after he left, Leslie began her obsession again by first checking on Katie, the woman who would soon displace her like a radical in a chemical reaction.

Her status update was: “I woke up to a sweet text message. Nothing like playing a naughty game with him.”

A naughty game, huh? Leslie made coffee and drank it extra bitter.

In the afternoon, she couldn’t take the boredom anymore. She’d gone to the museum, done a few checks, and updated the items before she came home close to evening. She was exhausted but didn’t feel like resting because each minute of idleness brought back the ugliness of her reality.

She called Stephanie, her best friend. “Hey, Steph.”

“Leslie,” she replied cheerily. “How are you, cupcake?”

Leslie sniffled. “I’m not really okay.”

“Hmm…what’s wrong? You sound like you ate a frog.”

Leslie didn’t tell her much of the details but she mentioned that she had been living with Luke for the past few months and had thought that he loved her only to discover that he’s always had it for Katie.

Stephanie was one of the people who’d been against her throwing herself at Luke. Of course, Luke had been the dream of every woman in college. The medical block was just a few blocks from theirs, and they ran into each other often.

Stephanie had admitted that Luke was an eye candy, but after more than a dozen rejections, she’d told Leslie to give it up and not sell herself short. But Leslie had been blown away by his proposal before she could even take that advice.

Telling her all that, Leslie felt Stephanie would blame her.

“I can’t believe he’s still a douche after all these years.”

“I’m tired of trying, Steph,” she said. “I’m leaving. I was wondering if I could stay at your place for a month before I go back to NYC.”

“I would love to, but I have to move back to Florida soon. Will you come with me? My brother is having a little party for his graduation, so I want to be there.”

“If there’ll be room, then yes!”

“Another thing, Leslie,” Stephanie said. “Don’t ever feel bad for yourself for loving. You loved wrong, but there’s no crime in loving.”

She nodded, repeating those words to herself.

Chapter Four

By 7 p.m., Leslie called Henry again to find out if he’d drafted the divorce petition to set the divorce in progress. Leslie was taking a risk by reaching out to Henry, knowing fully well that he was best friends with Luke.

She’d lied about it being for a friend but had then mailed the names and terms to his assistant and asked it to be included. Knowing Henry, he left most of those things to his associate to handle so the young man wouldn’t know much about her and Luke.

One day, the truth would be out but she wanted to keep things under the rug for the moment.

“I think it’s done,” Henry said apologetically. “I’ll have my associate send them to me, so I’ll deliver them to you.”

Hearing the soft music in the background, Leslie asked, “Where are you? I can come to get the papers myself.”

“I’m with Luke at the hospital’s partner party. If you can come get the documents, it’d be great.”

The party. Leslie didn’t want to go—she was, of course, not wanted there—but the temptation was great. Besides, Henry said Luke was there, whereas the previous night, he’d said he wouldn’t go because he had other important things to do.

Leslie felt like showing up there and letting him know that she was aware of his lies. It wouldn’t change anything, but it would give her a semblance of closure.

“I’ll come over in an hour.”

“Great.”

Leslie hung up and went to change.

At the party, Luke couldn’t have felt more alive. He was getting to spend more and more time with Katie than before.

Back in High School, Katie had always been too busy with her boyfriend, Bobby. He’d been a shadow in her world, and the only time they got to spend together was during tests, exams, or assignments. She’d always come to him for tutoring.

Luke had given up hope of ever being with her and had picked Leslie because—for some reason—she offered him a comparable peace than any other woman. He couldn’t claim to feel something deep for her, but he liked her somewhat.

He had resigned to loving Katie in his heart, possibly to his grave, but a miracle happened the day he’d been told that they were getting another doctor to join them as an intern.

She had graduated from medical school, but because she’d gone away with Bobby, she hadn't done her internship and had skipped some important steps. She was coming back to redo everything before starting her career as a surgeon.

Luke’s biggest happiness was when she accepted a coffee date after he asked and then he got to find out that she’d broken things off with Bobby because he was a ‘draining parasite.’

“I really didn’t expect that you’d ask me to come to the party with you,” Katie said. They were at their table in the corner, drinking cocktails. “The invitation said to bring spouses or partners.”

Luke smiled. “And I intend to make you one of those soon.”

Katie blushed and he felt his heart race. This was the first time he was being so bold with her without being afraid of rejection.

This would’ve made him understand how Leslie always felt each time he rejected her, but Luke was smitten at that moment.

Katie brushed her hair behind her ear, holding her smile. “That’s sweet. So, you really never had a girlfriend all these years?”

He shook his head. “I didn’t feel the same about anyone. You’re just…different.”

Of course, Luke was trying his best not to come off too strong. The past hurt was still lingering in his mind, so he had to be subtle.

There was a part of him that felt guilty. He was lying to Leslie every day, leading her on. They were married, right? At what point would it be too much? When would he put an end to it before he cheated on her?

But hadn't he already cheated in his mind? Luke was starting to consider filing for a divorce before he got deeper with Katie.

But the thought gave him pause because he had to make sure that it worked with Katie first so he wouldn’t lose both ways.

As they talked, Henry came over with a document in his hand. “Hey, Luke, can I talk to you for a while?”

He nodded. “Sure, what is it?”

He held out the document. “Divorce document. My associate brought it over.”

Luke exhaled. “And why would I be interested in that?”

Henry chuckled. “You shouldn’t, right? It’s not the document I want to talk about.” He turned to Katie. “Hey, Katie, do you mind giving this to someone for me outside while I use those few minutes to chat up this guy? She’s already on her way. It won’t take long, I promise.”

“Oh…okay,” Katie took the document and then left the two at the table. Henry sat opposite Luke. “What are you doing with Katie?”

“What does it look like?”

Henry grunted. “This woman might hurt you again. Remember the last time? You almost failed your exams. You wouldn’t be a medical doctor right now if Leslie hadn't been there to nurture you back to your senses.”

Luke took a deep breath. Yea, Leslie. After High School, he’d still tried to get through to Katie but she’d delivered the final blow during his exams when she announced that she happier with Bobby.

That was when they were writing their finals. Luke had been a mess, but Leslie had brought him back, though she’d had no idea what had caused his pain. She still didn’t know.

“I don’t want to talk about this,” Luke said and got up to go find Katie.

Outside, Katie had just hit the steps when Leslie jogged up to the steps. Henry had texted her to look for the woman.

Leslie was surprised to see who it was standing before her. Katie Hoffman, the woman who had Luke’s heart. For a few seconds, they stood there, locking eyes till Katie broke the silence.

“You’re Leslie, right? The woman going through a divorce?”

“I think that’s my document.” Leslie reached out to take it but froze when someone approached them from behind.

“Sweetheart, are you done?” it was Luke and he too stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Leslie standing a few inches from Katie.

There was a moment of awful silence.